i never go on this ever.


anyway
life still sucks
of course.
my dad is still a fag, my mom is still being a bitch, my older brother and little brother still attempt to ruin my life every day.
sometimes i feel like the only one who understands me in this house is my cat.
and that's really, really sad.
my dad could care less about me.
i've been told im worthless so many times by friends & family that i might as well believe it. since it must be a fact since so many people say it.
everything i do won't be good enough for anybody. not now, not ever. and i'm sick and tired of trying.

i haven't talked to my best friend for 8 months.
i try so hard to talk to him. i loved him so much. he was the only one who understood and helped me through everything. he would listen to me cry on the phone for hours if he had to.
and now he's gone.
my birthday's tomorrow and there's still no response from him.
everything i do is a wasted effort.

oh and then there's school.
woodbridge high school is the most drama filled place i have ever been to.
one day you're a slut, the next day you're pregnant. and nobody knows what to believe.
almost all the girls are whores that would do anything to get all the fucking attention on them and it pisses me off so bad.
love all trust none, thats my motto i guess.
i mean, i do trust a few people but its like how many people do i have to watch my back for ?
they tell you they'd never go after the guy you like or whatever
then the next thing you know theyre hooking up with him right in front of you
woodbridge. is. horrible.

my birthday's tomorrow and it's supposed to be fun
i'm turning 15 and going to disneyland with anna, jason, and whitney.
i can trust whitney and jason but annas probably gonna do something to fuck me over or piss me off. again.

life sucks
whatever.
/end rant

oh yeah
and also
track is ruining my body and taking over my life
i've been sick for two months from repeatedly running in the rain
and my knees are fucked up from being worked so hard.
i get so tired when i come home that i just stay in bed the rest of the day.
and when i move everything is in pain.
i'm quitting track next year, and doing cheer.
i know i dont look like one of those girls but i cant bear another year of this and there's no way in hell i'm going to pe.